


Carousel

by 108am



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Broken Promises, Carnival, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Originally Posted on LiveJournal, Reconciliation, Rejection, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-04
Updated: 2010-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-05 08:25:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1811791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/108am/pseuds/108am
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If the carousel never stopped, if it continued going around and around, could Time just stay in that moment, never moving forward or back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Carousel

**Author's Note:**

> I used an old stand-alone paragraph I wrote a long time ago as inspiration. It ended up being JaeMin, but there can never be too much JaeMin~ I need to stop breaking Minnie’s heart and making Jae a total jerk (although, I don’t think he’s _that_ bad in this story, but you be the judge). ._.

_If the carousel never stopped, if it continued going around and around, could Time just stay in that moment, never moving forward or back?_

  
The sun was setting slowly over the horizon. Soon it would be dark, but within this area, bright golden lights shined on to create a thrilling glow. The sight before him was like an image from a storybook, so magical and so enthralling, he felt like he was becoming a part of the story.

“The spell has been casted.”

This was the carnival, a place for people to come and forget their problems. It was a place for them to have fun and remember what it was like to be a child again. Even though he knew all of this, he still felt unhappy. “Why? Why can’t I get into the mood?”

Changmin walked through the busy carnival, watching dejectedly as happy faces seemed to gloat at him wherever he looked. Normally, he loved going to the carnival when there was one available, but tonight there was one person missing, someone who should be by his side partaking in all of this infrequent merriment.  
 _  
Jaejoong._

He raised his head, and he could see the giant Ferris wheel spinning leisurely around and around. Way up high, behind the majestic wheel, he could see faint stars twinkling, adding further magic to this night. He loved the carnival, and Jaejoong did too. It was a tradition they had since they were young that they would go to every single carnival together, no matter what, because for one night, they could enter the spell that had captivated many people.

But Jaejoong broke that promise.

Changmin looked at his cell phone expectantly, hoping that any minute Jaejoong would call and ask to meet up. He waited and waited, until he reluctantly accepted the fact that Jaejoong had rejected his love confession, and perhaps even their friendship.

“So stupid,” he whispered to himself, his foot lightly kicking away a pebble on the ground. “Why’d I leave that note for him to find?”

He bit his bottom lip, his eyes surveying his surrounding carefully. He walked around some more, passing screaming children and cuddling couples, before he found a strange tent. He walked inside curiously, and examined the place. It was completely dark, and just as he was about to leave, he heard a hoarse voice speaking from behind him.

He turned around to meet an old woman sitting in front of a crystal ball and beckoning for him to come closer. He started to shake his head, but then he decided he should at least have _some_ fun tonight even if he was by himself.

“Your heart was recently broken,” the old fortune teller began, ignoring the bitter scoff Changmin gave her. “But tell me, child, do you know the tale of the ‘red string of fate’?”

“Isn’t it believed that two people meant for each are connected by a red string that can never be broken no matter how tangled it may become?”

“‘An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstances. The thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break,’” the woman repeated the tale precisely. “Don’t fret, your soul mate is waiting for you.”

Changmin frowned. His heart felt like it was ready to burst. “Does that mean I was wrong about Jaejoong?”

The woman smiled gently at him, looking down at her crystal ball. She waved her hands over it in a mystifying manner. Her eyes were closed as she hummed softly, and Changmin watched her anxiously. When she opened her eyes, she whispered to him, “Enjoy this night, great magical things will happen.”

Changmin stared at her, trying hard to comprehend the cryptic words she whispered to him. He started to ask more questions but he could hear giggling teenage girls walking in, so he just bid her goodbye and thanked her politely. As he left, he could hear her warning him, “But beware of the tempting spells the carnival may cast.”

He looked back at the strange tent and the strange woman that inhabited it. He shook his head furiously, disgusted that he got caught up in the moment and behaved like a desperate teenage girl hopelessly bounded by all things related to the occult and true love.

But the carnival did cast a magical spell. Everything looked so bright and magical, but beneath the splendor, what dark secrets were hidden? When dawn would come, would the enchantment end and leave a dark, desolated place in its wake?

He found himself wishing that this carnival could stay, and he and everyone here could be trapped within this spell. If only he could stay, then he wouldn’t have to see Jaejoong’s face, and if he couldn’t see Jaejoong’s face that would mean that he could forget, right?

He found himself walking around the carnival in circles, gradually getting dizzy as the bright lights and loud attractions started to take their toll on him. He stopped to rest at the food court, choosing to sit at an empty table furthest away from the nearest person. He placed his crossed arms on the table, the dizziness from earlier lingered, but it was more bearable this time. He gently rested his head on his crossed arms and closed his eyes, the sound of laughter and carnival music rang in his head.

As soon as he closed his eyes, he saw Jaejoong’s face, staring at him cruelly.

“I don’t like you like that,” Jaejoong had said bluntly after confronting Changmin about the note. “Besides, I’m already seeing someone,” he finished, dropping the confession note on the ground and stepping on it callously before walking away, avoiding Changmin’s shocked face.

Changmin opened his eyes and buried his face in his arms, hoping that no one would notice the tears he was shedding then. He wished they were children again, going to the carnival hand-in-hand, riding the rides nonstop, playing the games and not caring whether they won or lose, and eating everything in sight until they would be sick the following day.

He wished he could go back to when Jaejoong loved him.

“I told you, we’re not doing it here!”

He opened his eyes, his head turning all around when he heard a familiar voice. “Jaejoong?”

He wished he didn’t look. He could feel his heart chipping as he watched Jaejoong talk with another man, possibly the person he was involved with. They were angry, but the sight of Jaejoong nearby had Changmin nervous. Would Jaejoong ignore him? Or would he get angry at him? Either way, it would be unbearable to have Jaejoong do either one. The only thing Changmin could think to do was leave. He quickly got up and rushed pass them, hoping that Jaejoong would not notice him.

As Changmin hurried pass them, Jaejoong stopped his struggle against the other man briefly, whispering quietly to himself, “Changmin?”

When he felt the man jerking him again, Jaejoong fought back furiously. “That’s it, we’re through, you bastard! Don’t you ever show yourself to me again!”

He pushed the man away and ran after Changmin, but the other boy had already disappeared into the busy crowd. Jaejoong pushed his way through, his head turning in all directions. He called out for Changmin but his voice was drowned by the laughter and music.

He walked around some more before a forgotten memory flashed through his mind.  
 _  
Jaejoong, I want to ride the carousel!_

“But we’ve ridden it seven times already,” Jaejoong murmured the answer he gave Changmin when they were younger. His feet started to lead him to where he knew Changmin would be.  
 _  
But I like riding the carousel, because we can stay in that moment forever, never moving forward or back._

“But we can have better moments, as long as you’re by my side,” Jaejoong whispered to himself, slowing to a halt when he reached the musical ride and spotted Changmin standing to the side and watching the horses go round and round.

He walked calmly towards Changmin, keepings his steps as quietly as he could. When he was behind him, he instantly wrapped his arms around the taller boy’s shoulders, and he frowned when he felt Changmin stiffened momentarily and then felt his body trembling softly.

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” The words fell from his lips like rain droplets in between his choked sobs. He let hands clumsily reached up to grasp onto the hands in front of him, “so much that my heart aches.”

Jaejoong started to turn Changmin around to face him, but he could feel the other boy defiantly resisting. After a few minutes of struggle, he stepped in front of Changmin and he could see that the younger boy was trying with all of his might to stifle his sobs but failing miserably.

Jaejoong kissed Changmin’s forehead, his fingers were brushing away the cursed tears that stained the younger boy’s pretty face. He then let his fingers move downwards and forced a smile on Changmin’s face.

“I’m sorry,” he started, placing another kiss on Changmin’s forehead. “If you’ll let me, I’ll prove to you just how sorry I am, and how much I love you.”

Jaejoong was taken aback when Changmin embraced him tightly, unaware that Changmin had already forgiven him since he arrived here. He then smiled and whispered softly, “Isn’t it a tradition that we ride the carousel together?”

He could feel Changmin calming down, a weak laugh escaped his lips. “You’ll ride the carousel with me?”

“As many times as you’d like,” Jaejoong answered, looking straight into Changmin’s eyes before his lips found their way to Changmin’s, and in an instant, they both felt the magical spark of the carnival again, but suddenly the words from the old fortune teller rang in Changmin’s head: “But beware of the tempting spells the carnival may cast.”

“Why were you so mean then?” Changmin whispered softly, pushing Jaejoong away from him and staring at him earnestly.

“Because I was so stupid,” Jaejoong started, looking at his feet with shame, “I didn’t know how lucky I was to have your love. I…never loved _him_.”

Changmin covered his ears, turning away from Jaejoong. “I don’t want to hear about that! I just want to know why you lied to me,” he paused suddenly before continuing, “or are you lying to me right now?”

“No!” Jaejoong grabbed Changmin’s arm, turning him around again so they were looking at each other. “No, I’m not lying to you now. Yes, perhaps I did then, but right now…” His voice trailed off as he caressed Changmin’s face tenderly. “I’ll be good to you. That was my first and final lie to you, so please…”

Changmin watched as Jaejoong mouthed “trust me” at him.

“I forgave you, but I’m still angry and I’m still sad, I don’t know what to do…”

They stood in silence, listening to the music that continued to play, but at that moment they never realized just how mocking it was. Was it always like this? Why did the music suddenly seemed so scornful? Were people always laughing this teasing laugh?

“The spell is over,” Changmin whispered. He stared at the carousel sadly, imagining to himself that the horses on the ride suddenly dashed away into the dark night, heading off to parts unknown and leaving him behind alone. The world he had created, the one that would always play those music happily, was crumbling before his eyes as he realized that he had been living a dream, and now it was time for the dream to end.

It was time for him to wake up.

“Changmin.”

He turned to look at Jaejoong again, too crestfallen to even answer him.

“It’ll be alright,” his voice was soft and gentle as he reached for Changmin’s hand and guided him towards the line for the carousel. He then led Changmin to a horse, watching as Changmin slowly got on. Jaejoong stood by his side, one hand grasping onto the pole in front of him, and the other was resting gently on Changmin’s hand.

“We’ll cast our own spell.”

Changmin turned to look at Jaejoong again, and teardrops fell from his eyes one by one, landing on Jaejoong’s warm hand in rhythmic interval. “If this is a dream,” he stopped for a split second to wipe the tears away, “please don’t let me wake up.”

Then they felt the ride moving, slowly at first but then it gradually picked up its momentum, and they watched as everything and everyone around them began to blur into indistinguishable figures. At that moment, anything they felt from earlier was nothing but a memory they had left behind. Right now, the only thing that seemed to matter was this moment, this moment in time when everything seemed to be _right_.

“I want to believe,” Changmin’s meek voice spoke softly; it was almost inaudible for Jaejoong to hear over the carousel music. “That you’re not lying to me.”

Jaejoong was sad for a moment, but he knew he had no reason to protest. He looked up hopefully when he heard Changmin beginning to speak again, and then he laughed softly when he realized what Changmin said, “But we have to ride the carousel eight more times.”

Jaejoong pulled Changmin face closer to him, forcing the other boy to quickly clutch onto the pole to prevent himself from falling off his horse. Changmin laughed as well when heard Jaejoong’s answer: “We’ll keep on riding this until they kick us out.”

 

_If the carousel stopped, if Time continued on, everything would be okay as long as you’re by my side._


End file.
